I have so many ideas floating around in my head yet the travel to my hands are quite slow. I’m at such a creative block and it sucks. I’ve been working on two layouts (one for my blog and another for a side project) and even though its amazing in my head, I just can’t duplicate it. So, I’m taking my boyfriend’s advice and taking a break. I hope something will hit me in the next few days ’cause I’m really looking forward to having more room for new content. I have so many ideas and not enough time.

Anyways, so my break is consisting of me soaking up some sun. I’m sitting outside on my patio with my laptop in front of me. I’m loving wireless internet! Although not loving the bugs so much. I’m really looking forward to Fall. The colors, the weather, the breezes, the holidays. Surely something creative will spark inside me soon enough.

I’m ending this post with a video. A video of a man named Randy Pausch - a professor from CMU. He was diagnosed with liver cancer and has recently passed away. He decided to give a speech, his last speech, about achieving your childhood dreams. It’s the most inspirational and moving speech I have ever heard and you will surely fall in love with this guy. His positive attitude, even in the depths of sickness, is heart warming. I hope you get as much out of it as I did!

The latest drawing I’ve been working on. I apologize for the horrible quality. I’m having trouble getting my old scanner to work on Vista so I had to use my camera instead. :P Anyways, I’m looking forward to finishing so I can finally paint it. I’ve had the idea in my head for a few weeks and I’m glad to have it on paper now. It’s been hard finding time to do anything creative lately, so I’m grateful to have this much done. I’m going to use watercolor, india ink and micro pens. I hope it turns out good. :)

Yesterday was my niece, Alana’s, first birthday! Was a blast and crazy seeing 25+ people fit into a small apartment. I was not only thrilled to see Alana turn one but I also got to see my other niece who’ve been away since April. She’s gotten so big! They grow up so fast, too fast.

I’ve been looking for some sort of mp3 flash player I can put in my wordpress (in posts, not sidebar) but have failed miserably. If anyone has any suggestions, please let me know! :)

Chris showed me this video the other night and I really admire this guy. His poems are something else, funny yet serious. This is one of my favorites.

During the car ride to and from Oklahoma, I had so many ideas for drawings/paintings. I give the credit to all the cds we brought. They really sparked some creative ideas in me. I’ve started on one, it’s actually based on a short story Chris wrote. I’m really digging it. Once I install my scanner I will upload some photos. I have the weekend off so I hope to be in artsy mode the entire time. It’s hard though. I’ve just spent the last four hours cleaning/organizing my room. Bah, I always spend my days off cleaning. But then again, a clean airy room allows my mind to be creative.

A friend introduced me to Pandora.com & I seriously love the thing. You can create radio stations based on a band or song and each song played will stick to that genre of music. I love it! I’ve made a Sigur Ros station and have been listening to it all day. My Coheed and Cambria station is pretty bad ass as well. There’s no need for real radio any more. It’s a gift from heaven for me since I live in the south.. there is no good rock stations out here. So Pandora has made this girl super happy. :)

I so need to write right now. The past few months have been so overwhelming. Life is having more downs than ups lately. My anxiety (I don’t even know if that’s what it is any more) has been out of hand. Some days I’m fine, but most.. I’m just down. I wouldn’t say I’m depressed at all, I’m actually really happy. I just get stressed out too much. I try to handle things as best as I can (and I seem to be doing alright) but it’s so hard sometimes. I think I try so hard that it’s finally getting to me - I’m so tired. I feel like something is bothering me but the problem is I don’t know what. A lot has been going on this year but I feel as though there’s something else. I try and cry sometimes to release.. but nothing comes out. I just wish I knew the pinpoint of all this so I can finally stop it. Chris tells me it could be a little of everything, maybe he’s right.

I’m not the kind of person to hate life or give up. I keep pushing on, I just pray that God gives me more energy so I’m able to because sometimes I feel so exhausted. I’m not motivated any more, but I try. And that’s what matters, I suppose. Keep trying. Keep going.

My uncle passed away a couple days ago and even though I’m sad, I’m actually happy he’s gone. He deserved better places & a better life. With all this mourning around me, I’m starting to really miss my mom. I’m not going to say life isn’t fair - but I just wish it was easier sometimes. But then again, if it was.. it wouldn’t be worth accomplishing.

Chris and I are taking a little vacation this week visiting his family. I’m really looking forward to it. I really need to get away from this house, this city. I’m going to use this time to not only spend time with the people I care about but really take time for myself - to think, to reflect, to learn, to overcome. I do feel things will get better.

Yay! I finally finished it and I have to say it looks pretty badass on a wall. This is my very first painting I’ve done for someone else and it’s so exciting, especially the nice check I got for it. :D It was such a pain to hang up though (took about 3 hours). Thank God Chris was there — he was a huge help. :) My sister is pretty excited about it and I’ve already gotten a few requests from people who want one as well. My sister’s friend wants one EXACTLY like it, lol. So that should be interesting.. guess I’ll be busy for awhile. I love it though! This is what I’ve always wanted to do. It feels really nice that people would actually pay money for something I’ve made. :D I have a lot of ideas about small paintings and so I hope to get started on those soon. Oh, and I’ve uploaded a few other pictures of the painting, so be sure to check that out.

Tomorrow is Chris and my 8th anniversary and I couldn’t be any more excited. We’re going to stay at a casino tomorrow night. During the day we’re going to go play putt-putt and eat lunch at Olive Garden. There’s also a few museums we want to check out as well. Should be a great little vaca for us both. I’m soo excited. Eight years! Damn, I feel old.