I’m not much of a writer - always find it difficult to put my thoughts and feelings into words. I’m much more expressive in art. For weeks now, I’ve had this cool idea for a painting. I figured I’d put it in writing — try and give it life. I’m thinking of having a series of paintings that’ll tell a story, like concept art. It’s really cool in my head, will be kinda dark & somber. Who knows how the ending will turn out. :P The story below is the beginning of my story.. I realize it’s not too descriptive, but I don’t want to give away the entire story. Plus, the main character is kind of clueless to what is happening or where she/he is at so I’d like the reader/viewer to be so as well.

Dark & cold describes the place I’m in. My eyes wander aimlessly but fail to see. Black engulfs my shivering pale body. Fear rushes through my thirsty veins.

I feel something tugging on my leg. A chain. I stagger and collapse onto the frigid concrete. I crawl from side to side. Strength is failing me now. I lay there helpless. Face drenched in my tears.

I need shelter.
I need safety.

I hear a faint noise. Distant static approaches slowly morphing to horrid screams. I cover my ears but the clamor swims around in my head attacking my sanity. Somber shadows dance around me. Taunting me with their wicked grins.

Light save me.

In the distance I see you. Darken limbs thriving upward from the lush grass. My eyes blur, I squint to see another glance. Beauty. The sun glistens the canopy over your head. You’re gorgeous. My decrepit heart begins to swell.

I want you.
I need you.

(1:30 into the song)
As courage starts to grow they tug and pull me back into this endless hell. I fight but my strength is diminishing quickly from my limbs. The darkness slowly begins to consume me while they continue their torment. My eyes grow heavy. I curl into a helpless heap and try hard not to give in but these demented fiends make it hard to.

I can’t take this.
I want out.

Time is abandoning me.

I am finally back. The new layout took longer than I had originally planned but so glad to see it somewhat complete. I’m digging it. What I’m not digging though is this damn bug flying around in my face, argh. Anyways, please wander around, I got some cool new content including the ‘library’ — hehe I’m such a nerd. I figured since I’m reading all the time, it’d be cool to have.

I have not been up to much. Well, I have been busy but nothing exciting to write about. Working, ie babysitting, as usual. Chris and I are, though, going to be getting our own place here within the next few weeks, so that’s exciting! It’s going to be nice — empty, but nice. We’ve been planning a yard sale in which we *hope* to start next Saturday if the weather cooperates. Other than that, nothing much going on than the usual. I did complete my painting though! Not sure if I’m finished, I still feel like it’s lacking something but than again I’m happy with it. I used a micro pigment ink brush instead of black watercolor for the outline/hair, so that was a little difficult but I’m sure I’ll get the hang of it. I’m digging the painting but more so the concept which I will let you interpret on your own. :)

Well, I’m done for the night. All this coding and what not has got me drained. Oh, I encourage all my commenters to head over to gravatar.com and make them an avatar so my comments will look cool. :) It takes but a minute — do itttt.

Yay! I finally finished it and I have to say it looks pretty badass on a wall. This is my very first painting I’ve done for someone else and it’s so exciting, especially the nice check I got for it. :D It was such a pain to hang up though (took about 3 hours). Thank God Chris was there — he was a huge help. :) My sister is pretty excited about it and I’ve already gotten a few requests from people who want one as well. My sister’s friend wants one EXACTLY like it, lol. So that should be interesting.. guess I’ll be busy for awhile. I love it though! This is what I’ve always wanted to do. It feels really nice that people would actually pay money for something I’ve made. :D I have a lot of ideas about small paintings and so I hope to get started on those soon. Oh, and I’ve uploaded a few other pictures of the painting, so be sure to check that out.

Tomorrow is Chris and my 8th anniversary and I couldn’t be any more excited. We’re going to stay at a casino tomorrow night. During the day we’re going to go play putt-putt and eat lunch at Olive Garden. There’s also a few museums we want to check out as well. Should be a great little vaca for us both. I’m soo excited. Eight years! Damn, I feel old.

This is what I’ve been working on for the past month. Off and on, of course. As some of you may know, I help my sister by babysitting my niece. I have her about 50+ hours a week and so that leaves very little time for anything else. I’m not complaining though, I love having my niece around all the time. Although I wish I had more time to be creative. It’s been hard finding time to work on my sister’s painting but I’ve managed to put about 20 hours in to it. I still have SO much more to go but I figured I would post a progress-update for you all. Sorry for my inactiveness btw. Once this painting is completed, I have plans to open an Etsy shop and sell some of my art. I hope it goes well! It’s been a dream of mine for so long to sell my stuff, other than websites. We’ll see how it goes.. I swear theres not enough hours in the day for all the things I would like to do. Be back soon.

Oh, I’ve been feeling fine lately btw. The anxiety has subsided, thank God. :D I think I’m being worked too hard… time for a vacation. (I actually have one planned soon, I’ll write about it later.) I’m excited, it’s for Chris’s and my 8th anniversary. :)

By the way, keep in mind the painting is an abstract/grunge so that will explain the mess and craziness. It will look nicer once it’s completed.

A major close-up of the painting I’m doing for my sister. We’re still discussing the looks & feel of it, but I think we got the idea of what she wants. It’s going to consist of 15 10inch canvas panels spaced about an inch apart. Three rows and five columns long. This will certainly be the biggest painting I’ve ever done and I can’t wait to get started. :)

And just for the record.. my new desk owns. It has really motivated me to do more artsy stuff. I’ve had the past two days off and I’ve been on a drawing & painting frenzy. I love it.