I’m not much of a writer - always find it difficult to put my thoughts and feelings into words. I’m much more expressive in art. For weeks now, I’ve had this cool idea for a painting. I figured I’d put it in writing — try and give it life. I’m thinking of having a series of paintings that’ll tell a story, like concept art. It’s really cool in my head, will be kinda dark & somber. Who knows how the ending will turn out. :P The story below is the beginning of my story.. I realize it’s not too descriptive, but I don’t want to give away the entire story. Plus, the main character is kind of clueless to what is happening or where she/he is at so I’d like the reader/viewer to be so as well.

Dark & cold describes the place I’m in. My eyes wander aimlessly but fail to see. Black engulfs my shivering pale body. Fear rushes through my thirsty veins.

I feel something tugging on my leg. A chain. I stagger and collapse onto the frigid concrete. I crawl from side to side. Strength is failing me now. I lay there helpless. Face drenched in my tears.

I need shelter.
I need safety.

I hear a faint noise. Distant static approaches slowly morphing to horrid screams. I cover my ears but the clamor swims around in my head attacking my sanity. Somber shadows dance around me. Taunting me with their wicked grins.

Light save me.

In the distance I see you. Darken limbs thriving upward from the lush grass. My eyes blur, I squint to see another glance. Beauty. The sun glistens the canopy over your head. You’re gorgeous. My decrepit heart begins to swell.

I want you.
I need you.

(1:30 into the song)
As courage starts to grow they tug and pull me back into this endless hell. I fight but my strength is diminishing quickly from my limbs. The darkness slowly begins to consume me while they continue their torment. My eyes grow heavy. I curl into a helpless heap and try hard not to give in but these demented fiends make it hard to.

I can’t take this.
I want out.

Time is abandoning me.

I am finally back. The new layout took longer than I had originally planned but so glad to see it somewhat complete. I’m digging it. What I’m not digging though is this damn bug flying around in my face, argh. Anyways, please wander around, I got some cool new content including the ‘library’ — hehe I’m such a nerd. I figured since I’m reading all the time, it’d be cool to have.

I have not been up to much. Well, I have been busy but nothing exciting to write about. Working, ie babysitting, as usual. Chris and I are, though, going to be getting our own place here within the next few weeks, so that’s exciting! It’s going to be nice — empty, but nice. We’ve been planning a yard sale in which we *hope* to start next Saturday if the weather cooperates. Other than that, nothing much going on than the usual. I did complete my painting though! Not sure if I’m finished, I still feel like it’s lacking something but than again I’m happy with it. I used a micro pigment ink brush instead of black watercolor for the outline/hair, so that was a little difficult but I’m sure I’ll get the hang of it. I’m digging the painting but more so the concept which I will let you interpret on your own. :)

Well, I’m done for the night. All this coding and what not has got me drained. Oh, I encourage all my commenters to head over to gravatar.com and make them an avatar so my comments will look cool. :) It takes but a minute — do itttt.

The latest drawing I’ve been working on. I apologize for the horrible quality. I’m having trouble getting my old scanner to work on Vista so I had to use my camera instead. :P Anyways, I’m looking forward to finishing so I can finally paint it. I’ve had the idea in my head for a few weeks and I’m glad to have it on paper now. It’s been hard finding time to do anything creative lately, so I’m grateful to have this much done. I’m going to use watercolor, india ink and micro pens. I hope it turns out good. :)

Yesterday was my niece, Alana’s, first birthday! Was a blast and crazy seeing 25+ people fit into a small apartment. I was not only thrilled to see Alana turn one but I also got to see my other niece who’ve been away since April. She’s gotten so big! They grow up so fast, too fast.

I’ve been looking for some sort of mp3 flash player I can put in my wordpress (in posts, not sidebar) but have failed miserably. If anyone has any suggestions, please let me know! :)

The fourth was a blast. Spent the entire day/night over my aunts house along with 30 other family and friends. Was nice because I got to hang out with a few people I haven’t seen in a while. A bunch of us played badminton & my arm is totally sore from it now. We also played rock band…

OUTSIDE. We used a zoombox which projected it on a huge canvas outside of the house. Was so much fun! Chris and I totally owned it. Later on, I got to play the drums to “Welcome Home” by Coheed and Cambria. THAT was too cool. I rocked it too. :o)

I’m in the process of editing & uploading a few pictures to my Photo Album. Since I’ve gotten my Nikon, I haven’t put it down. I’m surprised how long the battery life is, I’ve only had to charge it twice since April. I got most of my family wanting one. :P I would love to take photography classes some day, I think I’d be pretty good if I could learn a few techniques & whatnot.

So, I originally planned to have the painting completed by now but I came down with a pretty bad cold & sinuses the other night and it’s slowing me down. I think I’ll be able to finish it by tomorrow. I can’t wait to hang it up in my sister’s new apartment — It’s going to look so badass on a wall.

I absolutely love the summer. We have this tree in our back yard that just started blooming. I sat underneath it for hours yesterday afternoon while my niece crawled around in the yard. She picked out all the small rocks around our pond and threw them in the grass. She also likes to pick the dirt out of the flower pots too. So cute but leaves a lot of work for me. :P

What’s more summer than watermelon? We got one the other day, I swear it must have been 20 lbs. I gave Alana a piece — what a mess! I had to hose down the carport before all the ants came.

I keep my niece about 40 hours a week so my week has consisted mostly of swimming, chasing her around outside, and cleaning up her mess. :P She has kept me busy now that she’s crawling around and being active. My anxiety has been getting really bad lately so it’s nice having her around so much, a nice little distraction. I have a doctor’s appointment Wednesday so I’m looking forward to that. Scared but happy to figure out what’s bothering me. It’s to the point where I have trouble sleeping and eating. But I’m hoping they can help me.

I’m really looking forward to tomorrow. Our family is big on Fourth of July. We’re having a pool party and a Rock Band competition. Not to mention all the food we’re grilling! And the outdoor movies and $1,000 worth of fireworks. It’s going to be huge. Can’t wait. :)

** Oh, almost forgot. I’m almost done with the painting. I expect to finish it this weekend since I have Saturday and Sunday off. I’m really liking the way it’s turning out and can’t wait to start on others (smaller of course!). Btw, Happy 4th!